Got sucker punched again

Don't know what hit me and don't know why I got hit. Everything was going so good and I was trying so hard to change my life. It will take me awhile to catch my breath. The main thing is that I don't do anything foolish right now. My first instinct is to retaliate, no thats my second one, my first one is to get drunk, then retaliate. I have to avoid both. I know tonight will be a hard time sleeping. Can't concentrate on reading or watching TV. Trying to write but don't know what happened. A couple of people have told me to pray and put it in Gods hands. Thats easy for them to say. I need to be put in a strait jacket or handcuffed to the cold water pipes...and my mouth duct-taped. I know that would sound crazy to some people and I guess it sounds a little crazy to me but...I know the way I am and I'm only 3 weeks old.