Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, March 28, 2008
Weight Loss Program
Its kind of contradictory to say that I'm in a comfortable place when I complain about how sore I am all over but at least my mind and conscience is in a comfortable place now. I'm really looking forward to better weather and spring IS my favorite time of year. I need to get out and power-walk a few miles every day. Maybe that will help me feel better and limber me up some. It is so boring walking back and forth here in the apartment, besides I keep tripping over the cat. Every time he sees me walking toward the kitchen he thinks I am laying out some more food. I have him on a diet now and have forbidden my roommate Basia from giving him any food. She was filling up the bowl everytime it went down a little and made my cat fat...really fat. So, I stopped her before she killed the cat with Kibble n' Bits Intoxication. I told her how fat cats suffer from arthritis and other overweight-related diseases but I didn't mention any names to protect the innocent.
I heard a quote a long time ago made by Abraham Lincoln. I didn't hear it personally but I read it somewhere. He said something like, 'a man can be as happy as he makes up his mind to be'. I find truth in that because sometimes as bad as I am hurting physically, I can psych myself up to feel better. Many of those positive attitude things I read long ago have some truth to them. I know I can 'think' myself back down in the dumps and I try to stay out of there because it is not a fun place to be.
So it IS an inside job and when people or circumstances try to bring me down I find more and more success with praying and 'thinking' myself back up to a better place.
I remember when it felt like everything was tumbling down, when I had burnt all the bridges, when I had no hope, was bummed out, lonely and depressed. That was absolutely no fun at all and life, for me, held very little meaning. Too chicken to commit suicide so that never was an option. I felt like I just had to stick it out as miserable as it was.
Turning my life over to Jesus and making Him my personal Savior was the big turning point for me and was when my life started immediately to get better. First, it was my attitude that started to get better first. Then I started to treat people better, with more respect, and considered others feelings and needs before my own. Another thing I heard someone else say, and I don't remember who, but it went something like 'you can get more out of life by helping others get what they need'. So I try to concentrate my efforts on helping others find and get what they need and it makes my own problems seem inconsequential.
I definitely am a work in progress and sometimes I think what I would be like if I had started younger but I quickly thank God that I started at all. I could live 20 or 30 more years or I could die in my sleep tonight. I am more assured of spending Eternity with the Father now. The way I was living years ago, as miserable as it was, my Eternity looked just as dismal too.
I always feel lighter when I get a lot off my chest and I feel at least 10 lbs lighter than I did when I started this letter.
I heard a quote a long time ago made by Abraham Lincoln. I didn't hear it personally but I read it somewhere. He said something like, 'a man can be as happy as he makes up his mind to be'. I find truth in that because sometimes as bad as I am hurting physically, I can psych myself up to feel better. Many of those positive attitude things I read long ago have some truth to them. I know I can 'think' myself back down in the dumps and I try to stay out of there because it is not a fun place to be.
So it IS an inside job and when people or circumstances try to bring me down I find more and more success with praying and 'thinking' myself back up to a better place.
I remember when it felt like everything was tumbling down, when I had burnt all the bridges, when I had no hope, was bummed out, lonely and depressed. That was absolutely no fun at all and life, for me, held very little meaning. Too chicken to commit suicide so that never was an option. I felt like I just had to stick it out as miserable as it was.
Turning my life over to Jesus and making Him my personal Savior was the big turning point for me and was when my life started immediately to get better. First, it was my attitude that started to get better first. Then I started to treat people better, with more respect, and considered others feelings and needs before my own. Another thing I heard someone else say, and I don't remember who, but it went something like 'you can get more out of life by helping others get what they need'. So I try to concentrate my efforts on helping others find and get what they need and it makes my own problems seem inconsequential.
I definitely am a work in progress and sometimes I think what I would be like if I had started younger but I quickly thank God that I started at all. I could live 20 or 30 more years or I could die in my sleep tonight. I am more assured of spending Eternity with the Father now. The way I was living years ago, as miserable as it was, my Eternity looked just as dismal too.
I always feel lighter when I get a lot off my chest and I feel at least 10 lbs lighter than I did when I started this letter.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Spring....its comin'...I can feel it...I saw it on the calendar
I'm just itchin'. I even feel like spring cleaning. Throwing out and donating old junk to make room for new junk. Scraping, spackling, sanding and painting. Washing and scrubbing. Giving clothes away I don't/can't use anymore. Cleaning closets. I love talking dirty like that. Going through my book collection and donating/selling books I've read/not gonna read. Reorganizing kitchen cabinets. Getting rid of unused pots and pans. Going throgh EVERYTHING in the pantry. Scrubbin' the floors and giving them a good shinin'. Washing the front stairs.....and when I get done fold my underwear.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Are we there yet?
It has been a very rough winter for everyone. Colds, flu, snow, ice, cold weather, high heat bills, slushy, slippery and yucky. Spring peeks out once in a while but not often and far enough out. I've been in the hospital 3 times this year and its only March. A dozen visits to the VA Clinic. I must've been stuck a hundred times for blood sugar and coumadin level in the last 4 months and thats a LOW estimate. I've given so much blood for tests its amazing how the body replaces it. Every time its at least 3 tubes and as much as 10. Last week it was 3 bottles the size of airline bottles of booze. Every week it seems like a new experience. Feel ok now but my temperature hit 103 last week. Felt like I had a good butt-kicking. I get so cranky and short-tempered when I'm sick like that. I become even more of a challenge to be around.
I can't wait for this winter to be over and it hits 60 , at least, consistently for a week. Sunshine, warmth, fresh smells, green. I wanna see some kids outside playing instead of running from the warmth of the cars to the warmth of the school across the street. I didn't mind the cold so much when I was younger and I enjoyed playing in the snow. I remember it well and still recall the taste of snow but now I hate it. Its hard to believe I once enjoyed grabbing on to car bumpers and hitching a ride on icy streets. Now its hard just to get up a few stairs. What a difference 3 or 4 decades make. I wonder if I'll be able to make it out of the chair unassisted 30-40 years from now.
I can't wait for this winter to be over and it hits 60 , at least, consistently for a week. Sunshine, warmth, fresh smells, green. I wanna see some kids outside playing instead of running from the warmth of the cars to the warmth of the school across the street. I didn't mind the cold so much when I was younger and I enjoyed playing in the snow. I remember it well and still recall the taste of snow but now I hate it. Its hard to believe I once enjoyed grabbing on to car bumpers and hitching a ride on icy streets. Now its hard just to get up a few stairs. What a difference 3 or 4 decades make. I wonder if I'll be able to make it out of the chair unassisted 30-40 years from now.
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